What’s Not Important in Life?

This article was first appeared as one of my answers on Quora.

• Living by someone else brules (bullshit rules). When we were young, we used to follow what our parents told us, what our teachers taught us, and what our friends showed us. But as we grow up, we found that these brules do not support and serve us well anymore, but often, we do nothing about it. Take a closer look into yourself, observe your surrounding. Then, start to define yourself, select your own beliefs, set your own values, and live by your own rules.
• Dwelling on the past. The past is what creates the present, but living in (dwelling on) the past will not lead us to the future. The only things you still have control on is the present. If he/she leave you, move on; if you lose, you lose, move on. Stop feeling guilty, stop feeling pissed, stop feeling regard. I know it’s difficult to do, but you need to move on.
• Worrying about the future. I was that guy who always worry about the future. The feeling of anxiety when I earn a little less and spend a little more (as a solopreneur),the fear of uncertainty and the urge to predict and control the future. They drained my energy, they consumed me. Then I learn how to give up the need of being certain and the desire to control every future outcome, I finally got a relieved. The truth is that we have too little information to predict or understand any future outcome. It only drains your energy to worry about it.
• Overly focus on your weaknesses. We’re more than our strengths, at the same time, we’re more than our weaknesses. The truth is, most people doesn’t care about you (regardless your strengths or weaknesses), people only care about themselves. So, stop overly focus on your weaknesses, focus on your strength instead. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, because no one expect you to be perfect.
• Comparing with others. It drains your energy, mentally and physically. The only thing comparing does is making yourself feel bad, teaching yourself to belittle yourself, to learn how worthless you are, to see how weak and small you are, to tell all sort of stories that kill your motivation and drive. Often, when we’re comparing, we’re evaluating our worst (lowest point/time) when other’s best, sometimes, it’s not even their best, our mind simply creates the story.
• Making a judgement about others. There is no need to do that. We spent too much time to assess, to judge, and to criticize others based on their results or appearance without having the complete resource and right perspectives. At the end of the day, it did nothing except filling our ego to think we’re better. I think we should work on ourselves to become better instead.
• Unnecessary external things. We aren’t born with them. They won’t make us more successful if we don’t have the quality within; they won’t make us healthier if we don’t care about our body within; they won’t make us happier if we’re not fulfilled within.

I share tips, techniques, and critical thoughts on how we can live a better life on DeanYeong.com